“I was alone and enjoying my lunch sitting on a park bench directly under the shade of a large tree. All at once, a black squirrel with beady little black eyes ran up the tree trunk to my right and hung there staring at me. He had a beautiful bushy tail and his charming manner kept me distracted for some time or I would have noticed the second squirrel much sooner.
At last, though, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted movement on the bench beside me. There I spied a grey bushy tail sticking out of my knapsack and I could see movement inside the pack as this furry little criminal rummaged for goodies. I realized too late that these two squirrels were in cahoots and must have planned the whole thing from the beginning.
Until this happened to me, I had only heard vague rumours about squirrel gangs operating in other parks in large American cities. I discovered the hard way that these gangs exist here in Victoria Park too.”
Thanks to the courage of Jane Doe, we now have a description of the perpetrators and a very detailed incident report. The first squirrel is described as black with dark beady eyes, a bushy tail and a charming demeanor. He has been known to answer to the names “Rocky” or “Blackie” and is often seen in the company of a grey squirrel called Digger, a.k.a. “The Mole.” He has a bushy tail as well and is known to work very fast.
If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of the two suspects in question or if you have your own “incident” to report, please contact the squirrel crime unit at once. Take a lesson from Jane Doe’s story and don’t allow yourself to become their next victim.